Flannery Flailings
Flannery Flailings




It's too dark to read inside a dog, but you can try:

I didn't do it!
so tell her
and let me get my rest.

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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Happy Halloween, Suckahs!


[Note: This image was blatantly stolen from
Gothamist]

Flailed by Flan 10:01 AM
Friday, October 22, 2004
The deadline for the bookshop's newsletter was today at noon - eek! The girl being as lazy as every had ME write the letter to our dear faithful readers. I was rather proud of the work of my pretty paws so I shall include it here as well:


Dear Booklover,

You may recall reading about our bookstore in the Easley Progress in late July. When it came out, many customers complimented it. When asked if they were referring to the article about the bookshop's manager, one replied, "We prefer to refer to it as the one about the dog."

Finally! After two years of hard labor at Poor Richard?s Booksellers as the ever faithful bookshop dog, I am getting some of the recognition I deserve. It is such a thankless job of sniffing shoes, rolling over for belly rubs, and being constantly adored. Plus, this acknowledgment saved me from the threats of being told I had to earn my keep through having a small display table strapped to my back while I mush around the shop showing books to patrons. Sometimes I know that I'm just inches away from pushing new reads, like local author George Singleton's new collection of short stories, "Why Dogs Chase Cars." I might be a cuddly canine myself but chasing cars involves precious energy that might take away from my nap-time.

In my two years here, I have seen many changes in downtown Easley as more businesses and people move in. The most notable of these have been the food establishments. While people keep missing the very obvious idea of opening a Bacon Buffet, we've still had some fantastic eateries open nearby. There's Kewpie's Cafe with their fabulous reubens, Ansley's for more contemporary dining, a new coffee shop opening up across the street from the bookstore in the next couple of months, and David Winguard projections of his new restaurant for the summer of 2005. If the addition of the new
full service beauty parlor, the barber shop, the candle shop whose new owners are also going to carry antiques, a health food store under new management which now offer massage and apothecary, and Rosebriar Antiques doesn?t get your tail a wagging then the plans of three new shops with three apartments above them which have just been submitted to the city for the lot beside Ellenburg's nursery should. Hopefully, you can just control your excitement better than I can at times.

Soon you will not be able to recognize downtown Easley it will be so bustling. Of course, you'll always be recognized in Poor Richard's where we always love to see your friendly face, especially if that face is accompanied with long fingernails perfect for scratching a certain cocker spaniel's stomach. We hope you come in to visit soon, unless you smell like cat and then you are dead to me.

Miss Flannery
The Bookshop Dog

Flailed by Flan 7:53 PM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
When the girl was little, she used to gather together huge piles of leaves and jump in them with her sister. Yet, whenever I kamikazee dive from the front seat into the backseat full of garbage bags full of trash she lectures me! She looks at my ears a flying and my back legs splayed awkwardly up in the air as I tumble over myself, and all she can think of is how a random bottle might go a flying and break the car window.

Humans. Where's they're vision and idea of fun?


Flailed by Flan 2:02 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
The girl was shopping for some eyepads for me because of how my tears stain my fur. (Aren't I sad? Give me bacon to cheer me up.) She came across a site (DrsFosterSmith) which call their product "Show Eyes!" which sounds amusingly enough like "Jazz Hands!" from the movie Bring It On.

I think I know what I'll be sniffing about next.

In other news, the vet's appointment was good. No heart worms here and now that I'm clear for my rabies shot for three years I can tango with wild squirrels frothing at the mouth to my worm-free heart's delight - huzzah!

Flailed by Flan 4:58 PM
Monday, October 11, 2004
I wasn't invited to be a flower girl and I can get over that. Even if I would have added a grace and a class to the wedding that no one else could have.

Even though their wedding was lacking the greatness it obviously could have had with me spitting rose petals at everyone in attendance, I would still like to send my congratulations and best wishes out to Miss Ann Marie and Matt.

We love you!

Flailed by Flan 9:08 AM
My girl is leaving me AGAIN and this is what she is deserting me with this time- three cats. Three cats who have no respect for my agility or feistyness as a dog so they gang up on me. It is sad and inhumane.

Even more inhumane than the fact that tomorrow is my annual physical with the vet. Nothing like having a thermometer shoved up your bum to greet the morning with a bright eyed, "Hello!"

The girl is very worried that I have gained weight so she had me groomed right before this appointment. I wasn't groomed for any respect of my coat or my need to be pretty but out of fear that any excess fur will reflect badly on my weight, making me look chubbier than I am. Sometimes she is so neurotic I think I should just run away and leave a poodle in my place.

But then I realize that running involves energy. And any energy expended on something that isn't bacon just isn't for me.

Flailed by Flan 8:51 AM